transforming toddler tantrums

Do you know a toddler who has big feelings? As a pediatric occupational therapist, I have met quite a few. Though tantrums are often uncomfortable for everyone (the parent, the passerby, the dog) other than the child, they are a very normal part of child development. And also an opportunity to build attachment, and teach your child skills.

Why do tantrums happen?

Tantrums are your toddler's emotional response to stress and the difficulties of daily life. Unlike adults, toddlers do not have a functioning pre-frontal cortex that allows them to regulate emotions. So, when they experience a strong emotion, they do not have the mental brakes to slow down their response, or the words to cope with it. They may not even know what emotion they are feeling! So, they respond with crying and outbursts. Because.... that is what they are designed to do.

Tantrums could be a result of being hungry, tired, overwhelmed, or overstimulated. They could also be a result of wanting attention, wanting a preferred activity or item, or wanting to remove themselves from a non-preferred activity.

Tantrums can be frustrating, exhausting, and unpredictable. But they can also be beautiful moments for connection, understanding, and teaching/learning. In my clinical practice, I recommend parents use 5 C's when helping their child manage big feelings.

1. Connect
2. Calm
3. Create space
4. Curiosity
5. Communicate

Grab my guide below for instructions on each step! I hope you find it helpful.

---

For more general tips on how to further teach emotional intelligence and self regulation, check out our guide below for 10 awesome ideas!